Little one: 15 weeks.. pregnancy progess!

It feels strange to be blogging these so early as when I started my blog/these with Rio I was well into my third trimester. I always regretted that, and this time I hope to remember and cherish every week as this may well be my last pregnancy. Hmmm ;)

Sickness:
90% of the time I feel fine, which compared to hyperemesis with Rio feels amazing! Other days I find myself exhausted and everything makes me feel sick/gip/occasionally be sick.

Bump:
I feel like i'm showing so much earlier this time around, as a lot of people say you do with your second. I've already outgrown my work trousers and I'm finding jeans un comfy, though my maternity jeans are still too big (See picture). When I wake up for the toilet in the night my hand is always on my stomach now too..strange how the mind works, but nice!

Stretchmarks:
I obviously still have the faded white stretchmarks from Rio as he is only 1 year old but so far they have not come back into colour, stretched or have I got any more.

Sleep:
When i'm not waking to go to the toilet, my sleep is full with crazy dreams. I've finally stopped waking at silly oclock in the morning so hopefully that was just a phase.

Movement:
Little ones movement is so unpredictable, sometime I can feel them roll over under my skin, others I feel real little kicks, or just bubbles popping. I know its a lot early than most so when I have days of not feeling much/anything at all...I don't worry :)

Other:
My screening blood came back low risk :) and so far, unlike with Rio, I have no feeling to what the sex is this time. Though i'm guessing another little boy :) My boobs are also really painful so i'm hoping I might get to give breastfeeding a go this time too! Oh and i'm considering homebirth!

I found out i was pregnant, then fell down the stairs: A diary

-- Im shaking writing this, just when id prematurely given up hope, I take a test to confirm my disappointment. My period is due tomorrow. But as I turn the test over, everything is different. This time theres a little +. Im pregnant. Were pregnant. I hold my hands out in front of me..still shaking! I'm trying to act normal..get through tea, find the perfect time to tell Craig. But im nervous? Its what we both want, but now its happened..im scared! This changes things dramatically. Seeing Rio with Annalise this weekend, although troublesome at times, has confirmed that I want him to be a big brother more than anything. He's going to be such a good one, you can see it. That's providing I get past twelve weeks..theres always that.


--I whispered the word 'pregnant' to Rio, told him to tell Daddy. Craig said "We did it!"..we did, we actually did.


--I feel sicky in the night, I hardly sleep, pregnancy gives you the craziest dreams. I've remembered I need more Folic Acid. My skins horrible too.

--Today the worst thing happened. I fell down the stairs. Broke my foot in two places but all I could think sat at the bottom was "but im pregnant!". There's been no cramping, no bleeding. Hopefully we will be okay. They couldn't/wouldn't xray me. Instead I got examined and re examined. Half potted up and full potted up the next day after the genius fracture specialist felt my foot, prodded the centre and generally hurt me until I felt sick to confirm that yes I had broke my 4th and 5th metatarsals.

--The nausea is all day now, sometimes it is manageable, others it just creeps up and devours me. Everything is making me feel sick. Apparently chicken pie and mash is a no no!

--The tiredness has started, by 12.30 im exhausted and willing Rio to nap. At first he did but he seems to have grown out of them abit, and some days we both do without. On these days an 8pm bedtime is imminent.

--On top of the previous I am now full of cold. Great!

--FYI frequent urination is bad enough without having a pot and having to bum shuffle up and down stairs.

--I seem to be able to control my sickness by eating every few hours, which is great.. apart from the fact that i'm probably going to gain 10 stone! *slight..okay huge, exaggeration*. Cheese and turkey jumbo sandwiches from Cooplands are my current love.

--Today I am 8 weeks pregnant, the midwife finally rang me back and arranged my booking appointment for the first week in December. Hoping I can get my scan in time..it falls so close to Christmas you never know. And by rang I mean left a message on my voicemail, for my dad to hear while he was looking after Rio and me and Craig we're shopping. The Christmas surprise is no longer a Christmas surprise for my side of the family now. Which annoys me, getting to 12 weeks was always my goal first, especially all things considered.

--My mum said she knew I was pregnant. I had a glow about me when we went over for tea weeks ago. Just as me and Craig had found out. She thought we'd let slip when I fell down the stairs but as we didn't she played along with my "xray" story.

-- 12 weeks, still no scan, having to wait until the 3rd January because of Christmas. Everyone important knows now regardless.

--Feeling lots better :)

-- Scrap that, got a sickness bug and spent the last 24 hours in bed. Attempted sale shopping in Leeds today. Big mistake! Swear i can feel the baby sometimes on a night?

-- Had my scan today :) I'm 14 weeks tomorrow. Second trimester, the first one went by so quickly this time. Little one was sat up so I had to drink more and wait to be scanned again. Only to roll upside down giving us the worst scan picture ever but who cares? They was kicking off the walls, landing on their bum over and over again :) before curling up with a hand next to their face! Too cute. Rio wasn't that entertained. Instead he took the opportunity of quietness to chant "bugger bugger bugger". God help us ;)

Keeping positive when you get a negative

When your not trying for a baby it seems like all it takes is that one time to forget your contraception and bam your pregnant! When your trying and you've done all the right things on the right days you convince yourself that you must be. You feel nauseous, exhausted, your boobs are sore and your cramping. Your five days late on your period for Christ sake!

But what if its all in your head? What if that extra weight is well, extra weight? What if your test comes back negative?..You convince yourself its wrong of course! Maybe you tested too early? So you spend another £11 to see that negative all over again. Then the emptiness kicks in. You were sure this month was your month. You wonder how many more times you can actually go through this.

I feel grateful that I've already been blessed with pregnancy, and Rio. My OH knows people that tried for ten years before they conceived. People who have spent 30k trying. How do you keep hope for that long?

By staying positive that's how!!

Negativity is stress and stress can affect fertility. Just enjoy practising, because when I look at Rio I always think 'practice really does make perfect'.

We'd love another baby, id love to be pregnant again, complete our little family. But I'm just taking each day (or month in our case) as it comes. Because if I know anything, its that it will be more and worth the wait!

To try or not to try?

Theres no denying that finding out I was pregnant with Rio was a suprise, a nice suprise, but a suprise all the least. I was on the pill and were it not for a sickness bug a baby wouldnt of come into the equation for a long while. Sometimes you dont know what you want until you've already got it.

It was always clear for both of us, as soon as we decided there'd be another, that we wanted a little age gap. For a while we back and forthed about when, id be ready, then Craig would and so on and so forth. Times flown. Suddenly the ideal gap we both wanted is upon us and for the first time, we're both ready.

But this time round its different. What if i dont get caught on straight away like last time. Could i handle the repeated heartache of sitting in excitement and anticipation only to get a negative result? I know whats to come with things like labour. Last time was pretty much a walk in the park as far as labour is concerned. I've created such a high expectation for myself, if i did it once without pain relief i should be able to do it again. Only its not like that is it? Every labour is different. You do what you have to do to have your little one in your arms.

I've already had a three/four month gap from birth control so far, not for this reason but now there really is nothing stopping us.

To try or not to try?