20 things the new mother books dont tell you!

Becoming a new parent can seem daunting and as much as we try to prepare ourselves beforehand, there is stuff that the textbooks leave out. Stuff that other parents leave out. So, like many before me, I thought I would create a post un-sugar coating motherhood so that you know what you've really got yourself into.

1. Lightening pains. 
These bad boys are called lightening for a reason because that's exactly what those 'up the foo foo daggers', really feel like!

2. Post partum poo
If you find the thought of pushing a baby out scary. Wait until you get the urge to push your first post partum poo out of a freshly stitched up area! .. I will add its the fear of it that's that worst, eat your fibre and hold a clean sanitary towel against the area and you will be fine!

3. Sitting with your boobs out
If you choose to breastfeed sitting with your boobs out will become 'the norm' for the first few weeks. You'll become a semi-nudist because, if you haven't got a baby attached to them, you'll be getting some fresh air to a layer on Lansinoh and having some supply boosting skin to skin.

4. Showering will become a luxury
I know how absurd that sounds. At first you will manage it, your other half will let you have long soaks to soothe your stiches out of sympathy, but give it a week and your exhaustion will kick in and as soon as your little one is asleep you will be crawling into bed, not the shower!

5. And when you do get the time to shower
don't expect to do it alone. You'll find yourself dragging the bouncer in the bathroom with you out of desperation. But pretty soon that baby will turn into a toddler throwing toys into your bath so that they can play over the side. You know how they tell you 'you'll never pee alone again', well the same goes for bathing! Toilet roll getting unrolled may be cute on the Andrex advert, but in real life it's a pain in the ass!

6. The "you look amazing, have you really just had a baby" compliments
Unless your one of those lucky few that do actually bounce straight back, id say this is an empty compliment or your doing well to not look like your death! ... Put it this way, on the way out of the hospital the receptionist asked if I was checking in or leaving.. I have never been so mortified! I never really thought much about my stomach after bearing the child. I'm not naïve, I knew it wouldn't be the same, but I didn't expect to touch it by accident and suddenly have an omg moment! You know on Santa Claus the movie where Patch writes Santa's belly "shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly"? That's exactly what it does. I actually spent the first night in hospital giggling away with Craig then telling him to stop making me laugh because it wobbled everywhere!

7. You'll have two choices
Eat your food cold after everyone else, or share it with your child. No meal is ever truly 'just yours' again. Eating out alone or during a nap is heaven and so underrated!

8. Forget music charts
The only songs that will be stuck in your head any time soon are nursery rhymes or theme tunes. You'll find yourself singing and hoovering along to "special delivery service" and if your lucky, might even catch your other half in on the action too. I can remember turning my head at neck snapping speeds in the car when Craig was humming along to something or other! ..And thinking "Oh god, we really are parents!"

9. You'll wash the same load  of clothes three times
because you keep forgetting to peg it out before bed. This is where your going overboard on the clothe buying actually comes in handy.. because as quickly as you've washed one load, they've created another.

10. Silence is no longer bliss
Silence, unless at bedtime, is suspicious. Shout "What are you doing?" and get in there as fast as you can!

11. Your own clothes however, will never be clean again!
You'll glance down at your jeans in public and realise that they are covered in baby food..oh god, you hope its food! You'll then put them on again the next day after giving them a quick once over with a baby wipe.

12. Baby wipes don't just wipe the baby
they clean everything, including the bathroom in a hurry!

13. The only thing you will ever see on your TV again is cbeebies
or some equally soul destroying programme! You'll resort to downloading the ITV player app on your phone just to catch up with Emmerdale!

14. After birth pains
Oh yes, as if giving birth wasn't enough you then have to deal with pain whilst your womb is going back. You'll question whether there is actually another baby in there because jeez louise it feels like is!

15. Post partum bleeding
..think 9 months worth of periods and you'll still not be close. You know those ugly gigantic maternity pads? Well you will need to wear at least two of those at once! Don't be alarmed at leaving you own crime scene on the walk from the delivery bed to the shower!

16. You'll cry
They inform you that you might get the baby blues and cry a few days after having a baby. But they don't tell you that said crying will be over the most ridiculous things, or nothing at all! With Rio I sat in the bath and sobbed for no  reason. With Niall I broke down in hysterics because Craig wanted to buy the breast pump from a different store to me!

17. Your nipples might bleed
I'm not talking cracked, slight blood due to soreness. I'm talking sat pumping away happy as larry only to look down and realise you've been pumping blood horror movie type shit!

18. You will wake up
One of the most common things I hear is women worrying that they wont wake up when their baby needs them. Three years later I can still hear Rio sneeze three doors down the hall! You WILL wake up. Your other half might not, and even if he does will pretend he is asleep no matter how much you nudge kick him!

19. Thongs and Tampax
will be saved for special occasions and swimming. Comfort is key down there now!

20. People will have an unwanted opinion about your name choice
..in fact about everything. But if you have an opinion back then your wrong, its your baby, what do you know anyway?? And no matter how much you dress them in head to toe pink/blue someone will think that they are the opposite gender!



I'm sure that I don't have to note that this post is written in jest and is just light hearted fun but I will anyway. Pregnancy, birth, and motherhood is the most magical thing in the world and you should enter it with a clear untainted mind. You will learn your way as you go along, some of these might occur, some of them might not. But when you look at your child you really wont care either way.
 

Bravado: Maternity bra review!

I spent most of my teenage life unblessed in the boob department. I took the 'fake it till you make it' approach and wearing padded push up underwire bra's became the norm. Thankfully by the time I got to sixteen/seventeen something began to happen and then I got pregnant with Rio at 20 and well...the rest is history.

With Rio my boobs never really hurt though, even after birth. I had family members telling me to put lettuce leaves on to ease the pain and I was sat insisting they were fine.

Image courtesy of google search

This time around is a different story, my pregnancy symptoms began with the tell tale boob tenderness and it has progressed ever since. Day time for the most part isn't too bad but when I walk to the toilet in the night, they are agony! Re-adjusting the bones underneath my bra is horrible and I finally had enough and went on the hunt for a good maternity bra.

A trip to Mothercare proved unsuccessful, so I thought it was very apt that I returned home to an email asking me whether id like to try out a Bravado! Designs maternity bra. I sent over my size and eagerly awaited the post man! And he didn't disappoint. Not only was it a maternity bra, it was also a nursing bra..two birds with one stone and all of that, with extra clips meaning you can eventually convert it into a normal everyday bra. If that isn't value for money I don't know what is!

I'm usually a 32D but pregnancy so far has took me to a 34DD making me a Medium in The Body Silk Seamless Nursing Bra. I have to currently put the back strap on the tightest setting meaning that I will have plenty of room to grow throughout the upcoming months. My first impressions were that it was like a sports bra, only adjustable..which later proved to be just the thing I needed to help my night time problem. I liked that it didn't just come in black and white as I'm due to have my baby in the summer months and the pink (orchid pink) will be perfect under my very girly wardrobe!

At first I didn't like the elastic strap that is created when you unclip the bra to 'nurse' but when I actually used my mind and figured it would stop the strap slipping over your shoulder I soon saw the
geniousness of it!

The only fault I, and later my OH, found with the product was that the foam cups seemed very round and obvious but as they are removable this seems a little picky. I think I will later replace them with breast pads anyway in terms of 'covering the nipple'.

Little one: 16 weeks..pregnancy process!

I think this is the first week that has gone slow in my pregnancy so far. I don't know if its my impatience for the 20 (or in my case 21) week scan..or the fact that my next midwife appointment isn't until the day before I turn 18 weeks! Everything just seems to of slowed down now people know and July seems ages away. People keep asking me if we know the sex every time they see me and i'm finding it hard not to scream to be quite honest. If it wasn't for Rio's bump kisses, little movements and my OH drawing love hearts on my bump in Bio oil I think I would of quite happily stayed in bed this week.

But enough of the doom and gloom and onto the exciting stuff!!

 

 

Apparently little one should be measuring around 10cm now and over the next three weeks will double in weight whilst adding cms in length.

 

Sickness:

No actual sick, just a few days when ive suddenly felt really terrible and at times dizzy.

 

Sleep:

I'm still going to the toilet a lot in the night, and im finding it harder to get comfy. I don't think this is pregnancy/bump related, just a phase im going through maybe? I'm managing to sleep until 8:30 when Rio wakes up though, so that is a bonus! I may purchase a nursing/pregnancy pillow though.
 

Movement:

Little ones movement still varies, the little kicks are getting more frequent at night which is very nice! I quite like the sensation of them rolling over under my skin though, as I did with Rio. Sometimes I just get little bubble pops.. hardly even noticeable at all if it wasn't for me laid there, filled up on cold juice, hand on my tummy, concentrating with all my might!
 

Other:

Naughtily bought a new moses basket this week, but we are keeping the rocking stand from our old one. On the hunt for maternity clothes that make a petite lady like me feel good about my bump not frumpy and a good maternity bra! Still considering home birth.

 

 

Little one: 15 weeks.. pregnancy progess!

It feels strange to be blogging these so early as when I started my blog/these with Rio I was well into my third trimester. I always regretted that, and this time I hope to remember and cherish every week as this may well be my last pregnancy. Hmmm ;)

Sickness:
90% of the time I feel fine, which compared to hyperemesis with Rio feels amazing! Other days I find myself exhausted and everything makes me feel sick/gip/occasionally be sick.

Bump:
I feel like i'm showing so much earlier this time around, as a lot of people say you do with your second. I've already outgrown my work trousers and I'm finding jeans un comfy, though my maternity jeans are still too big (See picture). When I wake up for the toilet in the night my hand is always on my stomach now too..strange how the mind works, but nice!

Stretchmarks:
I obviously still have the faded white stretchmarks from Rio as he is only 1 year old but so far they have not come back into colour, stretched or have I got any more.

Sleep:
When i'm not waking to go to the toilet, my sleep is full with crazy dreams. I've finally stopped waking at silly oclock in the morning so hopefully that was just a phase.

Movement:
Little ones movement is so unpredictable, sometime I can feel them roll over under my skin, others I feel real little kicks, or just bubbles popping. I know its a lot early than most so when I have days of not feeling much/anything at all...I don't worry :)

Other:
My screening blood came back low risk :) and so far, unlike with Rio, I have no feeling to what the sex is this time. Though i'm guessing another little boy :) My boobs are also really painful so i'm hoping I might get to give breastfeeding a go this time too! Oh and i'm considering homebirth!

I found out i was pregnant, then fell down the stairs: A diary

-- Im shaking writing this, just when id prematurely given up hope, I take a test to confirm my disappointment. My period is due tomorrow. But as I turn the test over, everything is different. This time theres a little +. Im pregnant. Were pregnant. I hold my hands out in front of me..still shaking! I'm trying to act normal..get through tea, find the perfect time to tell Craig. But im nervous? Its what we both want, but now its happened..im scared! This changes things dramatically. Seeing Rio with Annalise this weekend, although troublesome at times, has confirmed that I want him to be a big brother more than anything. He's going to be such a good one, you can see it. That's providing I get past twelve weeks..theres always that.


--I whispered the word 'pregnant' to Rio, told him to tell Daddy. Craig said "We did it!"..we did, we actually did.


--I feel sicky in the night, I hardly sleep, pregnancy gives you the craziest dreams. I've remembered I need more Folic Acid. My skins horrible too.

--Today the worst thing happened. I fell down the stairs. Broke my foot in two places but all I could think sat at the bottom was "but im pregnant!". There's been no cramping, no bleeding. Hopefully we will be okay. They couldn't/wouldn't xray me. Instead I got examined and re examined. Half potted up and full potted up the next day after the genius fracture specialist felt my foot, prodded the centre and generally hurt me until I felt sick to confirm that yes I had broke my 4th and 5th metatarsals.

--The nausea is all day now, sometimes it is manageable, others it just creeps up and devours me. Everything is making me feel sick. Apparently chicken pie and mash is a no no!

--The tiredness has started, by 12.30 im exhausted and willing Rio to nap. At first he did but he seems to have grown out of them abit, and some days we both do without. On these days an 8pm bedtime is imminent.

--On top of the previous I am now full of cold. Great!

--FYI frequent urination is bad enough without having a pot and having to bum shuffle up and down stairs.

--I seem to be able to control my sickness by eating every few hours, which is great.. apart from the fact that i'm probably going to gain 10 stone! *slight..okay huge, exaggeration*. Cheese and turkey jumbo sandwiches from Cooplands are my current love.

--Today I am 8 weeks pregnant, the midwife finally rang me back and arranged my booking appointment for the first week in December. Hoping I can get my scan in time..it falls so close to Christmas you never know. And by rang I mean left a message on my voicemail, for my dad to hear while he was looking after Rio and me and Craig we're shopping. The Christmas surprise is no longer a Christmas surprise for my side of the family now. Which annoys me, getting to 12 weeks was always my goal first, especially all things considered.

--My mum said she knew I was pregnant. I had a glow about me when we went over for tea weeks ago. Just as me and Craig had found out. She thought we'd let slip when I fell down the stairs but as we didn't she played along with my "xray" story.

-- 12 weeks, still no scan, having to wait until the 3rd January because of Christmas. Everyone important knows now regardless.

--Feeling lots better :)

-- Scrap that, got a sickness bug and spent the last 24 hours in bed. Attempted sale shopping in Leeds today. Big mistake! Swear i can feel the baby sometimes on a night?

-- Had my scan today :) I'm 14 weeks tomorrow. Second trimester, the first one went by so quickly this time. Little one was sat up so I had to drink more and wait to be scanned again. Only to roll upside down giving us the worst scan picture ever but who cares? They was kicking off the walls, landing on their bum over and over again :) before curling up with a hand next to their face! Too cute. Rio wasn't that entertained. Instead he took the opportunity of quietness to chant "bugger bugger bugger". God help us ;)

6lb6oz of perfection

Thought id write my birthstory while its still fresh in my mind. Little Rio Stoddart was born on the 10th at 7.19am weighing 6lb6oz. He's perfect, i know everyone says it but he is.. simples :)

WARNING LONGGGGGGGG!!

Rightyo.. where to start. My waters went on easter sunday (8th) at 2.30pm. Felt a little pop, but only had little trickles so was unsure, told craig we'd better go for carvery now just incase (haha thinking of food).. so i put on a pad and we went.. had trickles every so often & kept giggling that i couldnt stop. Then the flooding started.. literally!! I had two hugeee pads on, and a bath towel between my legs and it was still going everywhere. Rang and went to the labour ward and they said "oooh when a women walks in with a bath towel in between her legs you know her waters have without a doubt gone".. so i got hooked up to the machine to check everything was fine and sent home as i wasnt feeling contractions.

Went back the next morning (9th) to be checked again. Everything was fine, again contractions on the monitor but wasnt really feeling them.. just abit of period pains. So was told to come back in the morning at 6am for induction as that would then be 48 hours of waters going. The period pains carried on all day.. timed them here and there but they wasnt too painful so expected induction. That evening the back pain started.. oh my god!! Back to back labour is painful. I was having nothing in my stomach that i 'could feel' but my back was hell. Went to the hospital and because my waters had gone they couldnt internally examine me because the risk of infection..got a bath and was having contractions every 2 mintutes, but the pains still wasnt in my stomach so they told me i wasnt in active labour & to come back when it was in my tummy and i couldnt talk through it. (i was so upset then how could i be in that much pain and not in active labour??.. how would i cope?)

Got home and got a bath.. couldnt cope in the bath any more and really had to angry breathe the pains away. My neighbours apparently could hear me at this point (didnt know i was pregnant but worked out i was in labour.. oopsie hahaa). Craig got me a hot water bottle and we got in bed to try and sleep. The pains and angry breathing continued and i had to tell myself 'resist it' just to stop myself from tensing and screaming ouch ouch ouch. Then....

I rolled over and the pains hit with the URGE TO PUSH. Yesssss i needed to push at home.. i couldnt stop it, everytime a back pain come, my body involuntary pushed!! SCARYYYY. Rang labour and delivery they asked if i wanted to stay at home or come in.. WTF?? i bet they just thought i was a drama queen.. well.. i wasnt having my baby at home so i rushed to the car, and jumped out at the hospital. I didnt even bother getting my hospital bag out the car.. this baby was coming!!

Got on the bed and she started talking about induction as i wasnt getting belly pain, again i think they thought i was being a drama queen about my back..but she agreed to do a internal examination though to see where i was and said.. "oooh no wonder your in pain, your a good 7cm".. to which my body got another pain and stared pushing.. and i couldnt stop.. no matter how hard i tried or how much she told me to try not to.. my body was just doing it. She looked down there and yess indeed.. i was having the baby (craig said by the time i was actually told it was okay to push, and tried to myself his head was almost out) .. from the point i was told okay long pushes, keep it coming to him being in my arms was 7 minutes. Craig cut the cord. Placenta came away fine. Apparently i 'made it look easy'. Little Rio looked tiny, they thought he was only about 5lb but nope :) little bit more. Had a little second degree tear and nick on my labia but thats because i couldnt stop my body. And it feels fine now.

Had to stay in overnight as i didnt have time for drip antibiotics.. oopsie again.

Got my natural birth after all :)

Will insert pictures in the next post :)

False starts? i hate you!

Pretty sick of 'false starts' now. Just when i think something might be happening it fizzles out. Can my body really clear itself out even more

 Lost my plug this morning... oooh thats SO attractive by the way ;) But im not getting my hopes up anymore.. that can take weeks. Bring on induction, least then i know the pains going to end in me getting my baby.

Full term

Wahooo!! Full termies.

I had some cramping in the night but forced my self to sleep through what i could "just incase". Its gone now, im just left with the 'dodgy tummy feeling'..probs that chinese for one i had last night eh? ;)

I still havent finished my maternity bag, need to buy gigantic pads and pack more pjs. Naughty Victoria! Hurry up little man, i want my blog to be full of pictures not words!

Put me in the sin bin

Gotta go  pick up new iron tablets today, i havent been taking the others *naughty,naughty*, been feeling really sick and i swear they caused it. But.. the midwifes been firm and gave me a new sort i must take seems as though its so low, and increases the chances of a needed transfusion in labour.. and seems as though id need special blood (damn you body for creating antibodies).. we need to avoid that!! blerghh does she not know trecking to the other side of the village when your pregnant is agonyyy!! ;)

Confession: I know its early, but i cant help but get my hopes up that every little pain is the start of something.

Later edited to add: Sooo i waddled all the way to the other side of the village and there wasnt a prescription waiting for me. Thanks for that!! Grrrrr.

Im ready for a season change!

Easter eggs are in the supermarkets now, and though most people are complaining that its 'too early' and "ooo its nearly easter already, we've only just had christmas".. im loving it! Easter is when my baby is due, my very own easter bunny! 

                   

I give full credit to whoever created this amazing picture. I wish it was me, but it wasnt!

The snowdrops are peeping up in my front garden now though..spring is finally on its way, and personally i think it cannot come quick enough .After the snow everything seems so muddy and bland! It doesnt help me feel very energetic! Yet i put on my bright pink hunters every morning and walk this little terror :) and things seems to pick up.. for few hours, then im exhausted on the sofa, motivation gone again!!

     

I love easter, blogs are always full of little chicks and bunnies.. rice crispy buns and decorated eggs :)

I can remember my primary school leaving a trail of raisins as 'poop' and telling us that the bunny has been!! My sister leaves paper footprints for her kids to find on their egg hunt at home but i dont think thats nearly as creative haha!

' Have you written your birth plan? '

Ever since i found out exactly how far i was on my first scan, ive had weekly emails to my phone come from various websites such as; hipp, cow and gate etc. Bacially underlining mine and the babies progress that week. What i should be eating, feeling.. how big he is etc. It normally varies site to site (im guessing they dont all follow the same guidelines to the letter) but this week.. they have all said 'have you written your birth plan?'.

In all honesty? I havent. We dont live in the dark ages, i like to think im pretty clued up about labour and childbirth.. i mean, i WAS my sisters birth partner. So yeah, you can attend all these fancy classes.. you can write down what you want and how you want it inch for inch. But i prefer to be abit ignorant about it. In my opinion, you accept whatever pain relief that you personally need to get you through it, its not a competition! No birth is the same. You never know how you will cope, whether your pain threshhold be high or low. Sure, we'd all like to cope fine, have that amazing natural birth.. but its not always possible.

But... as im considered a low risk pregnancy, i would really like to try waterbirth if one of the birthing pools are available on the day, and given that i dont have to have a bedbound induction obviously. I would also like to go home asap providing me and the baby are both okay and im feeling upto it.

Cutting the cord will be spur of the moment thing, i keep telling Craig that they can do it.. but he says we'll see! Erghh.. & whether he will be at the top of the bottom of the bed , is again spur of the moment, though after watching some birthing videos with me he has stated he will probs stay at the top.. hehe! (though having seen it myself its the weirdest yet amazing experience ever)

I say now i dont want gas and air or anything that will make me feel out of it, but tbh that rules pretty much everything out so we will see haha! Knowing my luck i will be begging for them to give me everything, epidural the lot!

 

Bump Bump Bumpity Bump

Why didnt i take regular bump pictures? I guess its because i didnt really feel like i was getting any bigger.. yeah, now after a long day i feel the strain of the bump...but generally, i just feel normal.

This is my 32 week bump

I always think the front shots look strange, like ive got a football in there not a baby. *hehe*

And from the other side.

Ive got to the stage where clothing is limited. Im very petite so i find it really hard to find things to fit, even in maternity ranges. Ive gone out and bought a few pairs of leggings to tie me over and some long tops but im getting pretty fed up of wearing the same things. Ive always loved my clothes so wearing the same stuff over and over again makes me feel abit drab. Oh well.. he's so worth it :) For him to grow i have to is how i see it. Primark has been my life saver tbh..clothes you can afford to just give to charity once your done with them.. want a confession?? ive taken to wearing bright pink lipstick to glam myself up abit.. oh my!! *blush*

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A long introduction

As far as first posts go, i dont really know what 'the norm' is to put.. so im going to wing it :) & hopefully some of what i put will be relevant.

Blogging has always been something that ive wanted to do. Im pretty useless at keeping a diary, there abit bland arent they? I'll be honest, ive started one before.. but i was writing and photographing what other blogs had, what their audience wanted to see, and i wasnt doing it for myself. So yeah, you guessed it.. i kinda got bored and it fizzled slowly out till i deleted the whole thing.. i didnt even bother to download it as backup.. that tells you something!!

So this time round ive decided to blog about what i want to.. and for the first time in my life ive found my self itching to get going. Im expecting my first baby you see. What better way than to document all the little things in one place? Okay some things may be off topic.. i tend to rant occasionally but hopefully it will work out.

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Im Victoria. Ive been with my other half Craig nearly five years now & we're expecting our first baby. Its a boy. I would of loved a suprise but 'im too impatient', Craigs words not mine. Im currently 32 weeks so most of it has gone by undocumented i'll admit...its never to late to start though.

Its been pretty smooth sailing so far as im a low risk pregnancy. Yeah ive had hyperemesis, hand food and mouth, water infections, kidney infections, my bloods now developed an antibody, and the little terror is currently back to back but still :) ive had it pretty easy id say.

This is us....