Looking back through old photos of Rio, I came across some old ones of myself pre pregnancy. Photo's that brought tears to my eyes. Photos that made me realise I used to be so stupid! They made me realise that I probably had a problem. I was so body conscious. Looking at these all I can think is
why? You stupid stupid girl! But of course back then I thought I was fat! Id breathe in when wearing a bikini, hate myself when I sat down! An ex told someone that I didn't have any boobs so I wore push up bra's and contacted companies seriously considering a boob job.
My Nanna once told me that I looked like id put on weight. She meant that I looked good for it, but I took it bad, I dropped back down to 6stone, probably under!
At my first weigh in with the midwife I weighed 6stone4. I was referred to consultant care, the same you would if you were overweight. But something magical happened in pregnancy, I loved putting on weight! The more my bump grew the happier I was. Yes at the end of my third trimester when I discovered my stretch marks I cried! I rang my mum and SOBBED down the phone. She assured me they'd go post pregnancy. They didn't! And do you know what? I don't care. Rio is 17 months now and I sway between 7stone8 and 7stone12. The strangest thing is that I am more happy in this bigger, wider , stretch marked body than I ever was being the 'perfect size 0'. And the boob situation? Pregnancy is the best free boob job you can get! ;)

I scares me to know that the bikini shot isn't me at my smallest and that right after the photo was took I looked at it and thought, "hips and thighs look huge". I don't really know what made me write this post, let alone upload it. I guess it was the realisation that when my OH says he prefers my body post pregnancy, for the first time in my life I can actual believe him! Stretch marks and all, because I do too!