Grief is strange

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Grief is strange. Before my Dad passed away I had an expectation of what losing someone that close to you would feel like. Throughout his illness I stayed strong, partially for my children, but mainly for him. He found it hard for people to be upset, although he could never truly forget he was terminal I guess he liked to try to. So I wore a brave face, until I no longer could.

In those last few days when his illness got very bad very fast and carers were sent to help me my wall began to crumble. I think I cried more then than I did when he actually died.

That's what I mean.. grief is strange. Sometimes I have my moments, generally laid in bed on a night, but mainly there is calm. A calmness that still to this day scares me. But I know its how he would of wanted it. A friend once described it to me as "compared to what you did for him, tears mean nothing".. or something along those lines. And I think that's what kept me sane.
 

Rio at four!

Sunday, 17 April 2016

Rio has recently celebrated his fourth birthday. I feel like four is the age you stop saying you have a toddler, and say you have a child, though you probably have for quite a while. We're "Mum", and "Dad", 50% of the time now and strangely I'm okay with that. He's starting to write and do basic maths which I why it saddens me that our new village school didn't have a nursery place for him. He was really starting to blossom at our old one. With reception only around the corner, and nursery being non compulsory, I'm not overly worried however. I think we will start claiming his 15 hours free soon whilst I am at work to give him the social aspect of it back.
He's still a very thoughtful and loving little boy. His love for football is back and he is due to start training this coming weekend now that he is old enough!
He's started to come out with little phrases, not quite back chatting, but the type where you think "you cheeky little so and so, how did you learn that?". I usually grab him in a cuddle and tell him to stop growing up, to which he giggles and I know he is still young.

He loves bird watching at Potteric Carr and goes most weeks with my in laws whilst I'm at work. He has such appreciation for the beauty of the world around him and I always say he will make one heck of a husband one day!

He took the loss of my Dad really well which is something I was dreading in the months leading up to it. They were so close with us living together all of Rio's life but he really was a trooper. If he asks to chat to me while I'm in the bath I know he's thinking about him and wants to reminisce a few memories with me. Which is nice because I know by the time he is older those memories will be few and far between because of his age.. unfortunately.

I think I speak on behalf of both myself and Craig when I say this little dude changed our lives for the better, as did his brother two years later. Seeing them together makes everything worthwhile.

Living room interior

Thursday, 7 April 2016

Most people believe that the heart of the home is the kitchen, my other half being one of them, hence why we bought a house with a 12ft conservatory adjoining that very room. But I disagree. I love being warm and cosy so for me the heart of the home is the living room. Rio shares my love for pyjamas so if we aren't out on a family adventure you will generally find us chilling in here.

 Curtains: Next  Wicker storage: Next 
 Sofas: DFS  Rug: Ikea

 Sideboard: Oak furniture land  Vases: Next   Roses: M&S  Candle: Zara

When our offer was first accepted on the house I envisioned our living room interior to be very grey and white thanks to Instagram but as you can see we had to steer away from that with us having two young boys, my mind just couldn't cope!

I now plan to complete my bedroom like that, yay!

Are you a first time home owner? Id love to see your transformations!

 

A Spring Saturday at the seaside!

Thursday, 17 March 2016

Last Saturday we decided spur of the moment to go to the seaside. Although its still very bitter, the sun was out and we thought why not? Once your bundled up its a great way to blow away the cobwebs, and if you've read my last post you will know I had a lot of those!





When it was time to go the boys happily got back in the car but Niall refused to budge. He was having far too much fun crouching watching the dogs play on the beach!


I'm very out of practice with the camera but it felt great to reclaim family time. Watch this space!

The new chapter..

Thursday, 3 March 2016

I think the fact that my last post was mid September speaks volumes on how busy my life has been. I don't think I've ever mentioned on here, in fact I know I never, because I didn't anywhere.. Or to many people that matter, that in April last year my Dad was diagnosed with incurable advanced stomach cancer.

He underwent harsh chemotherapy that shrunk it by 50% giving him abit longer to live non the less.. or so we are thought.

Not that long after my last post my Dads health deteriorated quickly. The cancer  had grown back with a vengeance and spread to his bowels. A hospital bed among other things was set up in my front room and before long he was 100% bed bound. With the two kids at my side, other than when I went to work, I cared for him 24/7. He became my priority. I was his rock but no more than he was mine.


On the morning of the 31st January, after sitting up with him all night. I watched as he unexpectedly to everyone else, but not to me, passed away. So since then I've been pretty wrapped up in sorting out everything that goes along with that. And moving on top of it.. Yes, I forgot to blog about one of the biggest life updates that there is...we bought our first family house! So this post is to prepare any readers that I have left that things may be a bit more 'parent lifestyle' from here on in.

Walking Talking Polly Pocket - Our family of four - The new chapter!

The one where we discover I jump like a Penguin!

Thursday, 17 September 2015

There's something magical about being cosy indoors with a candle burning. I'm one of those people that love snuggling on the sofa, with a cuppa and a book, listening to the sound of the rain. Pre mum me would of spent my days off doing such, but mum me has to man up and go out..whether she likes it or not!

It took me ten steps to question needing walking boots, and ten more to declare that we definitely did. Why didn't I put my wellies on? Why have I got it in my head that wellies are just for walking the dog?


We trudged away for a while, debating whether it was such a good idea to brave the outdoors. Then something magical happened.

Rio squealed with delight.

Now, I'm more than aware of how fun jumping in muddy puddles is for children, Peppa Pig is a daily reminder of that, but for a moment I forgot to see the world as a child. I forgot that its us parents that worry about muddy wet clothes, them catching a cold or slipping over. A child just see's a new adventure.

And look at that, even the light in the sky came on at that revelation! Craig took this snap, then another, before declaring "You jump like a penguin!".. I charged at him, denying it. But he's right...


I jump like a penguin!
Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

Autumn exploring

Sunday, 6 September 2015

My news feeds are full of people saying farewell to Summer. Now, I'm not impartial to a bit of nice weather, but personally I'm sat here open armed welcoming Autumn. I love getting cosy on dark nights, wrapping up for walks and stomping through crunchy leaves more than anything. Whilst most families are heading into soft play around this time of the year, we head outdoors more than ever. We explore newly empty areas, bug hunt and just generally just enjoy family time with our boys.

We recently explored a new part of the peak district, and although it was right on the out skirts, it was still very beautiful.









It was the first time that Niall had saw a sheep since he learnt what they 'say', he was in his element baa'ing away in fascination!



Even the most fantastic little walkers need a rest to re fuel every now and then!




I love his little hand gestures, deep in riveting conversation as always!

"You are my favourite adventure"

 "Rarrr", We found a wild Rio lurking in the bush!





Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall 

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